Writing is both easy and hard. It’s very easy to brain dump – I do it all the time. Then I go back and re-read my brain dumps and realize everything I wrote is crap and every line, every word, needs to be replaced. That’s the hard part for me. I guess most would call it the editing process. I can write story after story after story if I don’t have to re-read and edit them.
Couple that with the fact that I’m never truly happy with what I’ve written. I’m still working on that 750 word short. The story is complete and essentially told, but I’m not nearly happy enough to submit it. I think I’m OK with the first two paragraphs, but the rest needs a complete rewrite. However, this is my problem with everything I write. By the time I get the rest rewritten, I’ll go back and read the first two paragraphs and realize I HATE them. Right now, I’m liking them:
If gray were an emotion, it would be despair, I thought as I stood outside an old gray farmhouse, looking around at old gray barns, across barren gray fields, and up into a gray sky. Refocusing my attention on the reason I was out in the chilly morning air, I noticed Benjamin Collier was not gray. Upon closer inspection, I became aware that he was pretty cute, in his flannel shirt and raggedy jeans. If he shaved off the scruff on his face and cut his hair, he might even be called handsome. I shook that thought off, because in truth, something about him was completely unappealing to me. I wouldn’t figure out what that something was until later, when it was too late.
Our reason for gathering out here at this desolate place was a scavenger hunt of sorts. We were here to learn about the life and times of Benjamin, or so he said. I received the email to this “exclusive” invite-only event and was both excited and a little skeptical. The prize was supposedly the chance to be published nationwide, and being an aspiring writer, that sounded almost too good to be true. After talking it over with my best friend, she convinced me to at least show up.
I have to get over this. I know I have to get over this, if I hope to be a published writer. But that’s easier said than done.
My novel is the worst example of my issues with my writing. It’s done. It’s been done three times. But then I decide there’s some plot point or character name or description I just hate and have to go back through and fix all the instances of my referencing that. That’s not stopping me from working on the sequel or the query letter though. I am DETERMINED to get this novel out to agents in the next month.
I’ve been spending a lot of time reading the AbsoluteWrite.com forums and that’s been helping with steeling myself to submit my writing, but not so much with my time management skills. I haven’t been writing as much as I’d like (and the kids being out for President’s Day does not help either!) I’ve also been adding folks I want to read about to my Twitter account (authors, agents, publishers and the like) and some of their tweets are also pretty enlightening. I’m doing everything write but editing my works, so that’s my focus the rest of this week. I’m going to edit, edit, edit.